Amelia Earhart was a childhood hero of mine. Of course by childhood, I refer to a period of time that stretched well into my early twenties...but I'm growing up now.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Nothing Says Happy Holidays Like a Battery-Operated Tealight Advent Wreath

I am a firm believer that there is no better way to show your loved ones the extent of your compassion and care for them than to buy them a bunch of crap for Christmas. I mean who hasn’t been standing in a 24-hour Rite Aid at 2am on December 25th trying to decide if the years of emotional trauma you inflicted on your mom as she watched you pierce every visible bodily appendage can be best remedied by buying her the electric back-scrubber or the fully-illustrated-bible-sized “Easy Sudoku for Rainy Days”? (Seriously, what a time for Rite Aid to be sold out of the old standby, the five gallon drum of Almond Roca). When you care enough to send the very best solid enamel replica of a Byzantine chamber pot, surely your nearest and dearest will feel very loved.

I post this as a reminder that there are less than 26 more shopping days left before Christmas, so if you’re like me you’d better get a move on, or the kids might be getting the slightly damp Subway gift certificates that have been at the back of your wallet since 1997 instead of the My-Size Transformers they asked for.

Just a thought.

P.S. Don’t forget the batteries. Remote control eyelash waxers don't run on champagne wishes and caviar dreams.


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8:52 PM


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