State-of-the-Less-Than-Art Trucknology

I am a firm believer that if one keeps his eyes and ears alert and his mind receptive, he can learn at least one new thing every day. (Those of you still in school may find this a tall order, but I still believe it can be done. Keep your chin up.) Now, I understand that some days all you will learn is that that a June 22nd expiration date on a dairy product is more than just a friendly suggestion – particularly if the current month is November. But other days you may learn something far more earth-shattering, like the fact you alone in the world (despite the assertions of many a Snapple cap to the contrary) can lick your own elbow.

Recently, my new thing for the day was the realization that the bed of my pick-up truck has a previously unrecognized use. Now, I was aware that it could be used for hauling equipment/furtniture, for laying out under the stars when used with the proper bedding accoutrements, and for hosting a rather tame tailgate party. However, until I saw the empty Del Taco cup in the back of my truck, I had completely overlooked its capacity as a trash receptacle. After all, I know it is often difficult to find a trash bin. So few stores, restaurants, street corners or homes are equipped with such a facility. I’ve decided that clearly this lack of bins must be epidemic, not only because there was not a Del Taco anywhere near the parking lot where I was given the cup, but also because over the next week it proved not to be last of the unsolicited items to end up back there.

With this new information, I have gained a new appreciation for my automobile and look fondly on this opportunity for public service. The beauty of the rolling receptacle is that anyone with trash to discard can simply heave it into my truck bed as they pass by in a parking lot or as I drive them on the street rather than having to look around for a bin to put it in. Even greater, when I turn out onto the freeway, the trash will simply blow into the wind – an automatic disposal system. I’ve heard that in some places state law requires trash sacks to be carried inside vehicles at all times, cutting down on the need for such a disposal system, but seriously, who but those tree-hugging Washingtonians would ever truly consider something so ludicrous?

(Well, I guess I would, but then again, I’m also a tree-hugging former Washingtonian.)