Amelia Earhart was a childhood hero of mine. Of course by childhood, I refer to a period of time that stretched well into my early twenties...but I'm growing up now.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Merrily, Life Is But a...Something That Rhymes With Dream and Seems Appropriate in the Context of the Post...hmm

I recently got around to finishing the last season of Arrested Development on DVD. It was something I’d been reluctant to do, because I love this show and couldn’t bring myself to face the fact that the last episode on that DVD would be the last “new” episode I would ever see. Using the logic imparted to me as a small child by Grover in The Monster At the End of This Book, I think a part of me felt that if I didn’t watch it, then I could continue deluding myself into believing that the show wasn’t really over. Well, I finally faced the monster at what I feared was the end of comedy, and I am happy to say that I survived. And comedy survived, too. That is to say, I found something else that made me laugh quite a lot this week.

Let me preface this little story about my comedic discovery by stating that I’m a big fan of the kind of joke that starts out as amusing in only the mildest way, but gains momentum in repetition. It’s a product of living with my dad for 18 years and being hooked on Garfield and Friends as a kid. You can start me laughing for a good five minutes with a single mention of mutant guppies…better if in 3-D. (Don’t strain your head too much on that one. If you get the reference, feel free to think I’m weird. If you don’t get the reference, you have my deepest sympathy for clearly having been deprived of the best in children’s television viewing during the late 80s to early 90s.) Anyway here’s the story that cannot possibly live up to the two paragraphs of build-up I set before it:

I was on the freeway the other day, stuck in 5mph traffic, and I saw a young rear passenger in a soccer-mom-type SUV stick his arms out of the window and start moving them in a canoe paddling motion. This mildly amused me as comment on the “speed” we were traveling at, but what made me actually laugh out loud was when I realized that 5 minutes had passed and he hadn’t given it up. I imagined his antics inside the car: asking his mom to look at what he was up to, asking her if she thought it was funny, repeating loudly 20 times that surely canoers would get home faster or even turtles, sloths or amoebas for that matter, threatening his sister that he would slug her if she didn’t laugh at his cleverness. Well, anyway, that’s how it would have gone it if were a car ride with my family in 1989. *Sigh* Nearly 10 minutes had passed by the time I changed lanes & exited the freeway, but I saw that he was still at it and as the SUV slipped out of my eyeline I saw that the young passenger on the other side of the car was doing the same hand motions.

I just love someone who commits to a lame joke for the long haul. That must be why I continue to post on this blog.


Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I am business woman, hear me roar!

Some months ago I posted a snarky little entry about how I just love the opportunity that my truck bed gives people to conveniently rid themselves of unwanted trash. Over the weekend, I acquired far more than the usual take for a two-day stint in the parking lot of my apartment complex, and it gave me an idea. Get ready for this…I need to paint the lining of the bed blue & put up a “Place Recyclables Here” sign. Hey, maybe I can pick up some extra cash on the side by turning my truck into a moving CRV collector.

If that doesn’t work, I’ll waterproof the truck bed, fill it with water, install a fountain & turn it into a coy pond. If I make an average of three pennies a week from passing wishers, I can Coinstar my way to a new spatula in about 10 years. Woo Hoo!


Thursday, March 01, 2007

The Loose of the Rings

Yesterday, as I was driving home from work, I saw a sign painted on a locksmith van that amused me greatly for two reasons. First, it was just funny: “Support your local locksmith – loose your keys.” Second, the fact that it said “loose” rather than “lose” is not my typo. I love it when I see signs that businesses have taken the trouble to have professionally printed or painted, but apparently did not ask anyone to proofread first. However, the sign as-is inspired me to dream of someday loosing my keys. I’ll take the keys off their ring, climb up to the roof of the eleven story building I work in and liberate them by tossing them out into the air to seek their fortunes. “Fly little keys, fly. Let the sky be your limit. Green Valley is just over that ridge.”

Sorry. As I continue to be frustrated at work, I have been on a job search and recently I have been very interested in an opportunity to teach high school English without an actual credential. Therefore, I have apparently decided to practice by using my blog to pick at English painted on vehicles. Clearly, I should find better uses for my time and leave the locksmiths of the world in peace. Well, I have a new plan. When I get home from work, I have a hankering to pull on my very best pair of khakis and red t-shirt and go mess with people at Target. (You know, telling people the vacuum cleaner bags are in the popular music aisle, that sort of thing). I can’t bring myself to mess with people at my work, so I’ll do it at somebody else’s work.

Funny? Yes. Appropriate? Golly no.

P.S. You are of course welcome to correct my grammar and/or point out typos in my blog entries. Just be forewarned that if you do, I will feel welcome to tell you what I did with your mom last night…what? We played rummy…really. Sheesh.